Of course I felt fear when I left my marriage of more than twenty years. I was leaving my husband and my children, starting a new career, and signing a lease where I took on a huge responsibility without any financial backing. Fortunately at that time faith and confidence in myself allowed me to act in spite of my fear. An inner voice told me that I could do it, but this security did not come spontaneously. I acquired it by working on myself-reading books, taking seminars, and daring to face and accept the things that I needed to change. By trusting in the universe, I was willing to feel the fear of the unknown and do it anyway.

I remember that the first time my mother came to visit from my birthplace, Argentina, she asked, "Mabel, I don't understand. Are you abandoning them?" My response was, "Mom, I know this is not what we learned as the "right thing" to do, but don't you see they're fine?" Her response was, "Yes, but I don't understand. Don't they suffer?" She was also worried because they didn't call me, and I would tell her, "Mom, that's a good thing. It means they're okay." They always called me if something was wrong.

I never set up visiting days or times. They only saw me if they could and wanted to. I gave them no guilt trips. I always asked them, "Does this work for you?" This way, they learned to ask that question to themselves and to others. I also told my sons that I loved them no matter what. I explained that my love didn't depend on what they did or didn't do, or on their behavior. It didn't depend on whether or not they got a college degree. They opened their eyes wide and looked at me as though I was telling them the strangest thing they had ever heard in their lives.

At the time I left, I could have never imagined a relationship like the one I have with my kids now.

My oldest son, Jonathan, calls me everyday to tell me that he loves me. He says I'm on his best friend list! With my actions, I taught them it is not selfish to put ourselves first. I showed them that they could be themselves and be happy and okay just the way they are. The truth is that, without self-love, we cannot love anyone else. By refusing to accept this, we deceive ourselves and others. It is essential to learn to love and accept ourselves exactly the way we are. It doesn't work to do things for others. If something doesn't work for us, it won't work for anybody else. Especially as mothers, we tend to believe that we must relinquish what is important to us and sacrifice for our children. However, the best gift we can give our children is to love ourselves.

With our example, they can learn to love themselves. When we are in the correct place, we allow others to be in their correct place. The more we try to obtain love by doing things and behaving in certain ways for others, the more we distance ourselves from the possibility of experiencing the very thing we so desire.

I now know that my decision showed my children that it is important to do what works for us, because that usually ends up working for everybody else. When we dare to follow our dreams and go through our fears, we reach the other side of the tunnel and see the light. We then recognize what is true and, not only do we feel triumphant and very happy with ourselves, but we also look back and see that the journey wasn't as terrible as we had imagined. When we stop attaching ourselves to the result and worrying about situations, abandon the need to have opinions and pass judgment, and become aware that we know nothing and surrender and accept the process of life, then, and only then, can we experience the flow of the universe. At this point, everything starts to happen, and things come to us in the easiest way. I often tell my children that "their job is to be happy". When you are happy, things just come to us effortlessly.